when i see your face, there's not a thing that i would change
'cause you're amazing, just the way you are
and when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
because girl boy you're amazing, just the way you are.

got your picture in my hand saying, if you see this girl can you tell her where i am?

so recently I've began to realise how fortunate used to be, how privileged i was, and how i took for granted, the little things in life that made be the person who i was. But now, i realise I've lost all of these things, I'm no longer fortunate or privileged, and I'm beginning to question, who i am? i've lost most of the people closest to me, and facing up to that, knowing it's all my doing, is the hardest thing in the world.

you were meant to be there, meant to care. Meant to hold my hand when i cried, and hug me when i needed confort. You should have been my bestfriend, the only one i could always count on, the one i went to with all my problems and the one who i could trust. you were meant to hold my heart, always in your hands. but instead, you took my heart and tore it in two. You weren't there. You didn't care, you didn't hold my hand when i cried. You were the cause of all my tears. You weren't my bestfriend, but i was never yours, Just a meer silouette that put a shadow on your life. I was there for you, i held your hand when you cried and held your heart in my palms. i never let go. I wiped away the blood, and iced the bruises. We were supposed to share secrets, instead i hid all of yours. I tried, all i ever did was try. It wasn't enough, It was never enough. I wasn't enough. It hurt. You hurt. Everyday. I finally got courage, i finally found myself. I finally saw you for what you were. I finally broke free from your grasp, i finally ran away.
i love you, i always will.
i'll always be your daughter, you'll always be my mum.
you're heart i'll always hold.
mine break to hear myself say, now's time to let go.
you've had me in your grasp for too long.

this is the end.

i wish with everything
all that i had
that i could hate you
i want that, so bad
but my heart doesn't know
what it means to hate
and when it begins to know
its already too late
you're back and forth
you like me then you don't
and i wish i could say this
but i cant and i wont
i wont describe
the amounts of pain
that you leave behind
as you carry on in vain
i wont tell you
how much it kills me inside
to live my life
without you by my side
its the chase you want
not the amazing girl you'd catch
you look at me like
I'm just one from the batch
but I'm more than you think
I'm one of a kind
you'll search and search
but MY GOD you wont find
ANYONE as special or caring as i
i hate that i cant hate you
i kind of wish you'd die
i wish you'd disappear
and take my pain with you
because without you around
i know I'd make it through
i hate to see you doing so well
when i miss you so much
i hate the way you talk to me
i hate how we've lost touch
i hate that i cant talk to you
when you're all that I've had
i hate that i cant hate you
because i want to SO DAMN BAD
i cant erase the memories
and i gave back all your stuff
but these feelings still haunt me
and life is still real tough
i want to learn to hate you
i want to erase you from me
i wish so much that i could hate you
because now who can i be?
everything i ever was
and everything i knew
and everything I'll ever be
will trace me back to you.
i found myself and what love was
and how to love myself
i learned how to trust another
you cant put that on a shelf
you cant push that out of your life
you live in me through this
i learned everything about who i am
from how i cry to how i kiss
i wish i could hate you
even after everything, i still don't
and no matter what you say to me
i swear to you...i wont.

we were hoping for some romance
all we found was more despair

how many lives are living strange?

this is my life.

something is standing in between me and the person that means the most to me
it's not amy winehouse
might not even be a person
i don't know what it is
but it hurts.

i miss my bestfriend.
the one that was always there.
the one that had the smile.
the one that had that laugh.
the one that everyone adored.
the one that left me.
the one i'll never forget.

whatagwaaarn blogger long time no see?

because when you're 15, and someone tells you they love you,
you're gunna believe them.

your still my friends, it's impossible to hate you.

a mug i maybe, but i can not seem to let go.
i'm being messed about, used like a peice of bloody bog roll
and treated like a right fool
but at the end of the day, i'm still here
same place i've been for months
ready to pick up the peices when everything goes tits up
and the sad thing is
mug or not

i know that i always will be.

i just love you.



sorry for the inconvenience :/

let's run away and don't ever look back.

You'll always be there for me? bullshit.
You'll never forget about me again? bullshit.
You'll never treat me like a peice of dirt? bullshit?
You talk utter bullshit.
Everything that you surround yourself in, is bullshit.
Your promises, and fake excuses, are bullshit.
The shit you put everyone through, is bullshit.

Them 3 words you said you meant?
looks like that was bullshit too.

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be.

Again?

ok, so yesterday was a bit of a mind fuck.

it's so hard, when you're trying to leave it all behind, forget everything. But one thing, can send you right back to the beginning, back to going round and round in circles. Leaving you as confused as ever. head fuck central? It's left me wondering, do i leave it all behind, as planned. Or should i wait, and hang on for something that's proving to be so inevitable? <3